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I just went potty unsupervised

So yeah, this hasn't been the insightful, inspiring blog I hoped it would be, but that's okay. I am home. I'm in MY bed, with my sweet puppy who I missed so much. Most importantly, I finally got to poop all by myself. Don't take that for granted, people. CHERISH IT. And being able to scratch your head. And move your body without tangling up a bunch of wires. And feel the sun on your skin. If the experience gave me anything, it was deeper appreciation for how hard it must be for people confined to a bed or wheelchair long term.

btw, remember how cute I looked in that fist picture? Here's me last night:

Yeah, that's why I ended up not taking a whole lot of pictures. But I did tweet some good "foodie" pics over at @beppy, hashtag "hospitalfood."

After all that, I never did have a seizure for them. Watch me have one tonight. It's kind of hard not to feel just a little bit like a failure. Steve has reassured me that I did everything I possibly could to induce one - staying up all night, chugging energy drinks, watching those awful strobe lights. In the end, I'm just going to stay on the Tegretol and hope it keeps working. I don't see my neuro again until January.

I want to thank my husband for being amazing, even when I was super cranky, my parents for coming by to keep me company, and the awesome staff at KU Med for re-gluing my electrodes, taking my vitals, making me laugh, and yes, helping me poop. None of you guys get paid enough for all that you do.

I guess that about wraps it up, kids. I might keep this blog around for other epilepsy related stuff because the name is so damn clever. We got awareness month coming up in November. Until next time, be excellent to each other, and GO ROYALS.

Huzzah!

I get to go home tomorrow regardless of whether I seize or not! Still hoping to give them some activity, but they say about 25% of people don't seize while they're in here, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that we're sedentary - most of my seizures have been after moving around and getting my heart rate up somehow. Chugging energy drinks to try to mimic that effect. But I was starting to get really cranky and really sick of it here, so this makes me very happy.

MY HEAD ITCHES

WHY ARE YOU SWINGING AT EVERYTHING

But seriously, got the machine fixed a while ago I did get to talk to my doctor finally, and I feel a lot better. Here's what we know now as a result of the data they've collected: my seizures are definitely epileptic as opposed to non-epileptic. The "irritation" they've seen on my right parietal and temporal lobes is prove enough of that even if I haven't had an event. Since the Tegretol has been working well for me, my doctor has given me the option of going home pretty much whenever I feel like it. "Don't feel like you're chained here," she said. That made me feel so much better because that's exactly how I felt. We decided to give it at least one more night to see if I can give them at least one seizure, but she's going to check with me daily and see if I feel like I can stick it out for another day.

In other news WTF ROYALS?!? 0-4 bases loaded in the top of the 4th. Taking Shields out doesn't seemed to have helped. You guys just keep on swinging at every damn thing comes your way, maybe I'll have that seizure tonight after all.

24 hours in . . .

. . . and still no seizure activity. At the very least I got to use the bathroom all by myself. I've been awake the entire time. Usually that alone is enough to trigger an event, but I've heard the vEEG rooms referred to as the "seizure prevention unit" because people tend to quit having them as soon as they show up here. So that's comforting.

Oh, and I was just notified that the little machine that's supposed to be doing all the monitoring has been broken since I dropped it trying to go to the bathroom using just my right (WRONG) hand, so there's really no point in me being here whatsoever. Awesome. I wonder if they're gonna charge me for it. So far this experience has been SO eye opening and everyone has been SUPER forthcoming about what exactly they're even doing. I TOTALLY don't feel like the lone child in a world run by grown-ups who are all in on some joke I'm not getting.

/s

So I just went to take my first "escorted" restroom trip . . .

. . . and the lady I buzzed was a different lady than the one who told me I'd have to make in front of people. She stood just outside the door, but the operative word there is OUTSIDE. I am now suspicious of everything the first lady told me. And starting to get a headache I can't take anything for.